Frustrated and Fucked

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If you’ve read my other stories, you know that I’m separated from my husband of 20 years. It’s been about 6 months now. We continued having sex for a while, but I had to put a stop to it. I left him because I wasn’t in love with him, breaking his heart in the process. It wasn’t fair to continue a sexual relationship when I have no intention of getting back together with him. No matter how fucking horny I am all the time.

I’ve never had to deal with lack of sex. From the time I lost my virginity to my husband, I never stopped. I never had to learn how to cope without. You don’t realize how important sex is until you lose it. I went from having sex 2 or 3 times a week to nothing. And masturbation sucks. I’ve come to realize sex is a physical need. Just like food. I’m absolutely starving right now. Masturbating is like starving to death and finally finding food, only it’s a moldy hot dog in the garbage, covered in maggots; but you eat it anyway because you have to survive. That’s what masturbation is like for me. When I was getting sex regularly, masturbating was fun. Now it’s just depressing. Sometimes I can’t even get myself off.

So now I find myself, 41 years old, fat and alone. Actually, I’m not so fat anymore. But I still see myself that way. I’ve lost over a hundred pounds in the last 2 years and I still have about 40 more to go. I know, try not to picture it. This is a sex story meant to get you off, and that description is not helping. But this is also a story of my life and I can’t tell it as a young, hot, blonde chick with big tits and a perfect body. That’s not me. That’s never going to be me. But I’m fine with that. I’m attractive enough to not worry about never finding someone again. I still have curves and probably always will. So put me in the BBW category. I’m 5’8″, shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes with 38D tits.

Three weeks ago, I had sex with an old friend. He lives in Georgia and we’ll never have a romantic relationship. We love each other, but only as friends. Hell, we grew up together. We were just helping each other out since neither of us had had sex in a while. It was great, but made me realize that sex makes you want more. No matter how good it is, it leaves you wanting more. It’s not feasible to drive to Georgia every week to get my “fix”. So now I’m exploring other options.

I’ve worked with Jason for over nine years now. He’s a work friend. We never talk away from the job and never do anything together. But we have come to know each other pretty well. He has a girlfriend of 20 years. I’ve asked him many times why they aren’t married. He always says that they don’t want to mess it up with marriage. They love each other very much and that’s enough for them. They don’t have any children and are happy with the way things are.

Jason and I talk about everything. We started talking about sex stuff several years ago. I’m sure that I’m the one who brought it up. We’ve swapped porn sites and sex stories, but always kept our distance. I was married and he had a girlfriend he loved very much. There may have been a bit of a mutual attraction, but we never came near crossing any lines. At least any more lines than all the inappropriate sex talk we had been having. Jason had to stop having sex with his girlfriend about 6 or 7 years ago. She has a female medical problem that she can’t get surgery on because she has a bad heart. So he’s left with only masturbation. Even though she can’t have sex, she doesn’t help him out at all. It is upsetting to her, so he doesn’t press the issue. Just deals with it himself. She’s very uptight about sex. Doesn’t like him masturbating and definitely doesn’t want him cheating on her. But as I’ve said, he loves her very much, so he takes care of his needs himself.

Recently, since I’ve been separated, our sex talks have become more frequent. I’ve not only been talking about sex to Jason, I’ve pretty much brought it up with everyone at work. I’m so frustrated and I’ve been asking how everyone else deals with it. Most of them change the subject so I quit talking about it to anyone besides Jason. We’re still very open about it. I am attracted to him; he’s 5’10, 175lbs with salt and pepper hair. A little soft around the middle, but what 47 year old isn’t? Naturally, I’ve been considering having sex with him.

Two weeks ago, on Wednesday, he was eating lunch. I was at my desk and we were the only ones in the office. This is usually how we spend our lunch breaks. We don’t work with many others and are almost always alone during lunch on the days he doesn’t have a delivery route. But I stay at my desk about 15 feet away instead of moving over to the table with him. Anyway, we were talking again about sex. What else?

I said, “Don’t think I haven’t thought about having sex with you.”

“I’ve thought about you, too, Missy.” Totally blew me away. Did I hear him correctly? I hadn’t considered that response from him. I thought it was one-sided on my part. He went on, “I’m glad you said that. I’ve been thinking canlı bahis it for a long time. I couldn’t say anything before. I was worried about work. You know; harassment and stuff.”

“Harassment? Neither one of us is a supervisor over the other. I don’t see that as an issue.” In reality, I had looked it up in our handbook a few days before. I didn’t want to say anything unless we could do something about it. I was hoping for sex at some point.

Just then, someone came into the office. My office is a big open space about 20’X40′ which has 3 desks, a lunch table, fax machine, copier and other office accoutrement. One of our service guys came in to make copies and use a computer. So Jason and I had to put our talk on hold. But that didn’t mean I stopped thinking about it. I was thrilled that he felt the same. Would this go somewhere? I knew he was just as frustrated as me. Had been dealing with it for much, much longer. We never got any more time alone that day. But we exchanged many looks. Every time I went out in the warehouse, I caught him staring at me.

The next morning we both got to work a little before 8 as usual. The other warehouse guy doesn’t come in until 8:30 so we would have a half hour to ourselves. But we weren’t alone long. One of the service guys came in so we couldn’t talk. At lunch time, Jason came inside to eat. At first we just talked about normal stuff. Then almost as soon as we started to talk about sex, the other warehouse guy, Adam, came in. He asked Jason about when his girlfriend was leaving. It turns out that Jason’s girlfriend was getting on a plane that very afternoon to go to visit family in Connecticut until Monday. This information made my heart do a little skip and a jump. He was going to be alone for the weekend? Holy shit! We might actually get a chance to have sex? When Adam went back to the warehouse, our driver came in. So we still couldn’t talk.

Later that afternoon, as Jason was getting ready to leave, he came inside and stood looking out the window. He started talking about basically nothing. I said, “Are we really going to pretend that we didn’t say that stuff yesterday?”

“Yes…I don’t know,” he says while shaking his head. He was worried. One more time, Adam came into the office. For no fucking reason at all except to interrupt us. Jason had to leave anyway, so he did.

Friday morning we got to work a little before 8 again. I had it all planned out. I was going to bring it up no matter what. But I didn’t have to. The minute Jason walked in he looked at me and said, “I can’t trust you. You’ll tell someone. I can’t lose this job.”

“Me? I’ll tell someone? Who would I tell?”

“Your sister. You’d tell Sarah and people would find out.”

“No way. Why would I tell her? This is none of her business. I don’t want her to know. I’m not looking for a relationship with you. I just want sex. I think we can help each other out.”

“I’m worried. I can’t lose my job. My lady.”

“Jason, I’d never do anything to jeopardize any of that. As for the job, I looked it up before saying anything to you. There’s no rule against it. Unless we do something inappropriate at work. But I don’t want anyone to know.”

“I don’t either. Believe me. Ten years ago I’d be all over that!” he says as he looks at me. Really? He’s looking at MY body and making that statement?

“I don’t want anyone to know either. That’s what makes you perfect. You’re already in love with someone. I don’t need anyone falling in love with me right now. I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready for a relationship. I don’t need to get involved with someone. I just thought we could help each other out.”

“Yeah, I know. It would be good. I’m not..,”

Right then one of the service guys walked in. Damn, we can’t ever get any time alone. I walked up front, clocked in and started working. Later, Jason came in for lunch. Of course it was one of those rare days where there are people in and out all day. Jason did bring up the fact that he would be alone all weekend. I told him that he was just teasing me and not to talk about being alone for the weekend if he wasn’t going to invite me over. Then someone came in again. It was frustrating as hell. We had so much to talk about and couldn’t. I wanted to tell him to call me, but I didn’t get the chance. Later, as I was on the way home, I texted him a message saying that I forgot to tell him I would be off on Monday and to have a nice weekend. I wasn’t sure I had his correct phone number. It had been a long time since I’d had a reason to call him for work.

The weekend passed and I didn’t hear from him. I went to my appointments and did my errands on Monday as planned. I went to work Tuesday morning as usual. He has a delivery route on Mondays and Tuesdays so I didn’t see him until the afternoon. He told me he got my message and deleted my number. I told him that was fine. I wasn’t trying to get him in trouble or anything. But that it wouldn’t be weird for him to have my number. I have everyone bahis siteleri else’s number at work as well. I’ve also called almost everyone at one time or another over a work related issue. But I assured him that it was fine. He left for the day and I felt shortchanged yet again. Same thing on Wednesday. Again. We didn’t get a chance to talk because someone was always around. I was taking another personal day on Thursday to spend most of it at the dentist with my kids. I sent him a text message that afternoon. This time I asked him to please call me after work on Thursday so we can talk.

“Hey Missy.”

“Hey, Jason. Thanks for calling. Where are you?”

“On the turnpike, on my way home.”

“Oh. I wanted to meet so we can talk.”

“You mean in person?”

“Yeah. I just want to talk. In the parking lot of Walmart or something on your way home.”

“Well, if we’re going to meet, we’d have to arrange that in advance. My lady…”

“I know. Okay. It’s alright I just had some stuff to say. We always get interrupted at work and we never get to say everything. I want you to know what I’m thinking. I’m not looking to screw up our lives or anything. We can’t get fired over this unless we actually do something at work while we’re on the clock. I don’t want to mess up your life. I know you have a girlfriend. I’m happy about that. I don’t want a relationship like that with you. I just thought we could help each other out. You know how much I miss sex. I know you miss it, too. That’s all.”

“I know Missy. You’re right. I do miss it. I’m just worried. I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

“I don’t want to lose our friendship, either. I think we can have both.”

“I don’t know. I have been thinking about you.” His voice lowers to a little above a whisper and he says, “I masturbated thinking about you last night.”

“You did? Really?”

“Yes. Don’t be so surprised. I like you and I want to be with you. You get me going sometimes.”

“Wow. I…are you sure we can’t work this out?”

“Maybe. You don’t think it will be weird?”

“What would be weird? I don’t see why two people can’t have sex and still look each other in the eye the next day.”

“Maybe. Maybe. We’ll see. I’m almost home now, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you in the morning.”

After we hung up, I felt better. At least I said everything I wanted to say. I can’t believe he masturbated thinking of me! Wow! It’s hard to think that I could get someone going like that. I guess that’s insecurity speaking. But it’s also realistic. I know what I look like. Not everyone is going to find a BBW attractive or sexy. In fact, I’d say most don’t. I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t need most.

Friday morning went as usual. We’d start talking and someone would come in. We exchanged many glances and I, for one, stayed turned on all day. It was frustrating as hell. No contact whatsoever over the weekend. Monday and Tuesday came and went just like Friday. Talked a little. Looked a little. Stayed turned on. Every chance I had alone with him, I made sure to tell him I still wanted him. I wasn’t going to leave any room for doubt. I’m not playing games. I don’t have time for that shit. I’m having surgery in 4 weeks to fix some female type stuff. This will result in not only fixing the minor problem, but also will give me a whole new vagina. The doctor tightens everything up on his way out. Sounds fun, right? But it also means that I’ll be physically unable to have sex for 6-8 weeks while I heal and even then it will be difficult because I’ll be so tight. So I had a schedule to keep and I was determined to get some satisfaction before my surgery.

On Wednesday morning we got to work, but this time we were alone for a while. He was apprehensive as usual. I point blank told him I want to have sex. That I didn’t want to wait and that I wished we could work it out. At lunch that day he told me that his lady works on Sundays and he’s alone at the house. That I could come over and we could get together. At first I just looked at him. Then said, “Really? Yeah. I want to. Definitely.”

“Okay then. I’ll have to give you my address.”

I smiled. “Yeah. Give me your address and I’ll come over Sunday morning.”

“Okay, I will.” Then the phone rang and I answered it. When I hung up, I found him staring at me. Sitting at the table, not eating, deliberately staring at me.

“Are you staring at me?”

“Yeah.”

“Well quit it. That’s weird. Hey, you know I don’t look so hot under these clothes, right? My boobs look great in this bra, but in reality they hang down.”

“I don’t care about that. I know you’re not a teenager anymore. I’m worried about my gut.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You don’t have a gut. You can’t be more than 25 pounds overweight.”

He pinches his gut and shows me. It was pitiful as far as I was concerned. He has nothing more than love handles.

“You’re crazy.”

The next morning bahis şirketleri we were alone for a while. The other warehouse guy had to go on a delivery that would last for 4 hours. We both had work to do, but I went out to talk to him anyway. I was being insecure and wanted to point out my deficiencies again.

“You know I don’t look good naked, right?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m not all that either. I’m only average.” Boom! Right there I knew I had him. He just told me how big he is because he doesn’t want me to be surprised later. Hot damn!

“I don’t care about that. Why do guys always think that’s so important? I want you. It doesn’t matter how big you are.”

“Don’t worry about being naked. You can keep something on if you want. Just be comfortable.”

At that moment, the UPS guy came in the back warehouse door. So I went in the office to work again. When he came in for lunch later, we talked about other stuff this time. A rarity for us lately. But it seemed like it was about to happen. I knew I had already talked it to death and I didn’t want to continue. Friday morning found us with company again. Neither of us said or did anything out of the ordinary. Pure, professional working relationship and conversation. But I felt something from him. Like he wasn’t sure anymore. When we were far enough away so the other guys couldn’t hear, I said, “You know you haven’t given me your address yet.”

“Oh, that’s right, I haven’t.”

“Just because I’m good at pretending everything is normal while we’re working doesn’t mean that I don’t still want to fuck you. I very much want your address.” I said all this while looking him straight in the eye.

“Good. I want you, too. I know we have to be careful.” Then I went inside to the office. We had been talking while walking towards the front. I went in and he stayed in the warehouse. At lunch, he gave me his address first thing, before we had a chance to get interrupted. We talked about the logistics of it. He wanted me to park in the garage. And he wanted to call me at 4:30 to let me know his “lady” was gone and it was ok to come over. Yes, 4:30am. Very, very early. But worth it, I hope. I have teenage children and don’t have to worry about leaving them alone. With any luck, I’d be back before they even got up at noon. Plus, Jason really wanted me to come over while it was still dark. I guess so it could feel like it was nighttime instead of morning? I don’t know. But losing a little sleep wasn’t a big deal. I could always take a nap in the afternoon.

I’m glad we got the details worked out quickly. Because a little after lunch, our boss showed up. She normally works in Tampa at the main office, but lives in Orlando. She was only there because her husband had an MRI scheduled that afternoon and needed her to take him. It ended up being cancelled at the last minute, but she was already on her way, so she just came to the office to finish out the day here. This meant Jason and I would not be able to talk again for sure. And we didn’t. He left at his usual time and we didn’t talk again until he called Sunday morning to wake me up.

I was excited although a little hesitant. The plans were made, but I wasn’t sure I could follow through. I wanted to have sex. To be with someone; to get that closeness and maybe a little happiness. I had plans all day Saturday that kept me busy. I went to bed that night worried that he wouldn’t call in the morning. Also worried that he would call in the morning. I tossed and turned all night and barely got any sleep. At 4:30 am sharp, my phone rang and I answered.

“Hey Missy. Good morning. Are you up?”

“I am now. I’ll get ready and leave in about 20 minutes.”

After ending the call I got ready and left. Jason lives about 45 minutes from me, so I had a bit of a drive. I called when I was close and he had me pull into his garage. He showed me around his house and asked me if I wanted to see a picture of his girlfriend. I didn’t. Then we went in the bedroom. He was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt, but I was fully clothed. As soon as I had my shoes off, he kissed me. At first it was just a peck on the lips. But almost immediately he came at me with his tongue. It was like he was trying to get his whole tongue in my mouth. Not exactly my type of kissing. But I went with it. After undressing, we got in bed. He was on top of me, kissing me and started playing with my tit. His hand quickly moved down to my pussy. I reached for him as well and found him quite hard. He asked me to blow him.

As he turned on his back, I got a look at him. He’s not as small as he thinks he is, probably a good 6 inches. I stroked him for a minute, stalling I guess until he rubbed my shoulder and asked if I was okay. When I finally leaned down to take him in my mouth, I found him very hard. I like the way a cock feels in my mouth. The head is soft and the shaft is hard with the skin on top moving easily. I closed my mouth around it and pulled my lips back up to the head. When I reached the top, I swirled my tongue around the head and went back down again farther this time. I repeated this only once more before he told me he wanted to eat me. It was so quick. I hadn’t even gotten him all the way in my mouth yet.

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