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The nights had gotten long and boring. It had been months since I had anyone sharing my bed with me. The last time was a one night stand with a nice looking blond haired, blue eyed man named Jonathan. I truly thought that I would love to spend some more time with him, but he saw things different, the son of a bitch. There had been so many times like that previously that I had become frustrated. I guess my self esteem had taken a nose dive, because I had become content with staying in my apartment, watching television or reading a book.
My mother knew something was wrong, but she really couldn’t peg what it was. If she only knew. I think she would be shocked that her only daughter really loved sex and had led a fairly promiscuous lifestyle. I was twenty two and still an emotional virgin, unfortunately. I had sex frequently after my sixteenth birthday, but I had never truly been attached to anyone. I know my mother was concerned about that. I never brought anyone home, and I never made those special phone calls to someone on Sunday afternoons while I was at mom’s house. There was always the possibility that one day I would meet someone and fall head over heels for that person, as my Uncle Ralph had teased. He basically said I would fall hard and the right man would make me wonder why I had not gotten involved emotionally before. The only things I was really attached to, though, was my vibrator and dildo.
I didn’t quite understand what was wrong. I am a nice looking young lady or so I have been told. My blond hair and athletic build have turned the heads of more than one man, for sure. My uncle, my biggest supporter, told me once, when I was eighteen, that I needed to pose for Playboy, but I really never had the desire. My nurse friends at the hospital I work for, suggested I might make a little extra money stripping. I have always been a little too self conscious for those kinds of things, preferring one night stands and individuals to crowds. It was enough to put on an act in a nightclub to see if someone would pick me up.
I was straight, but dissatisfied. I was good looking, but insecure. The problem was with me and I had to create a solution that would get me a relationship that would be fulfilling emotionally and physically. Instead of hanging out in the bars and nightclubs, I decided to hang in a different location with a different set of people. I chose a bookstore, the big chain bookstore with the coffee shop built in. I would read and drink mocha frappuccinos until I would zing my way to work. In my second month trying my new lifestyle, I was becoming more and more disappointed. At one point, I put my head down on the book I was reading and began sobbing gently.
“What’s wrong?” a female voice asked gently.
“Nothing, just feeling a little sorry for myself,” I replied. I raised my head to see a young woman standing above me with a cup of coffee and a sweet roll.
“Its just really sad to see someone crying in the middle of the bookstore,” the cute brunette said. “Can I sit with you?”
“I really just want to be left alone casino oyna to wallow in my misery,” I said managing to sneak out a little smile. “but thank you for offering.”
“I ‘m in here all the time, by the way, so if you ever have the need to talk, I am available. I’ve noticed you here before and I’ve wanted to come introduce myself, but I wasn’t sure whether you really wanted company. I couldn’t tell what you were doing, reading or looking.” A gentle smile enhanced her face.
“Thank you for that. I hadn’t thought anyone noticed me. The fact that you did helps me a little. I guess I am looking for Mr. Goodbar in the wrong place. I felt that it would be better to try to meet men in a place like this than in a nightclub,” I admitted. I didn’t really know why I said this to a stranger, but it seemed to help a little that I had confessed my ulterior motive for being in the coffee shop of the bookstore.
“It sounds like you need a friend, someone you can talk to about whatever you want,” she commented. “I know you want to be left alone, but if you are willing one day soon, maybe we should get together. I would enjoy the company and the conversation. I’ll see you later, perhaps.”
“I’m so sorry. Please sit. I can’t believe how rude I must have come off.”
The young woman was average, yet elegant. She wore little makeup, but the natural beauty of her face said she really didn’t need any. Sitting down across from me, she showed grace in her mannerisms that told me she wasn’t simply another girl. There was refinement within the young woman.
“My name in Gloria,” she said as she offered her hand.
I took her warm hand in mine and shook it gently. “Mine is Diana.”
“Well Diana, tell me why you’ve worked yourself up into this fit of self pity,” she said smiling that gentle smile.
I decided to tell her the truth or at least the truth she needed to know. I wasn’t quite ready to tell her all my innermost secrets, though. I started from what I thought would be a fitting beginning. After twenty minutes I slowed down and apologized for hogging the conversation.
“Don’t you worry about it, Diana,” she said. “I’ve a similar story, but I now understand why I was the way I was. You know how you’re not satisfied with the men you have been sleeping with?”
“Yeah,” I replied not really understanding where she was going with the direction of her comments.
“Maybe its because you are trying too hard and perhaps seeking in the wrong direction.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Perhaps you think that men are the answer to the problem you’re trying to solve. What you need is a friend. Someone you can share all your intimate details with. You need someone you can trust, someone that understands you because that person has been where you’ve been.”
“Are you suggesting you?” I wondered aloud.
“Not necessarily, but I am available if that is acceptable to you.” The twinkle in her eyes gave her away.
“Are you…nevermind!” I started.
“Am I what? Lesbian? I don’t think so, although I’ve often wondered canlı casino what it would be like to have sex with a woman. No, I need a friend as much as I think you do. I’m lonely. I feel betrayed by society. I really need someone that I can talk to, share intimacies with, and just hang out. You do know that two women as good looking as we are will attract more attention than either you or I could do on our own.” She spoke logically and after a few moments I kind of thought I would love to get to know this person.
“Gloria, I do need a friend. One that will support me emotionally. One that I can trust…” My mind seemed to replay for an instant to what she had just said. “…Have you really considered what it would be like to make love to a woman?” I asked searching her eyes.
She paused, not wanting to run Diana off. “When I masturbate and I think about the men I’ve had sex with, I find myself not being able to concentrate, not being able to focus. I can never seem to bring myself to orgasm. But when I think about kissing another woman and making passionate love to that woman, I find myself losing control. I get so turned on by the thought, I usually come to orgasm within minutes. I’ve never acted on it and probably never will, but it’s a fantasy. I hope that doesn’t scare you,” she said.
“Not really, but you need to know that I’ve never even thought about it. Although I don’t find myself repulsed by the idea, I don’t think I could ever go through with it.” I continued to search her eyes.
“When I was ten years old, my older sister’s best friend who was fifteen at the time tried to get me to perform oral sex on her. I wouldn’t, but that experience has fired the fantasy throughout my adolescence into my adulthood. I probably would balk if the opportunity ever presented itself, but…” She stopped and looked deeply into my eyes. “You are curious, aren’t you?”
“I am curious why you haven’t acted on such a fantasy. Surely you’ve had the opportunity.”
“I never have. I think the reason is that it scared me such as a child and I considered it so wrong. I felt I was being taken advantage of by an older kid who would’ve ratted me out if I had done it. I was also worried what my parents would have thought if they found out. I thought about it before, but I’ve never had someone that I completely trusted…” she admitted.
“There’s that trust word again…” I paused and looked intently into her eyes. “Are you playing me?” I asked.
“No. You asked a question and I answered as honestly as I could. I had no reason to even come over here to talk to you except I thought you needed a friend. I am sorry you feel threatened.” Her eyes teared up and she gathered her belongings. “I have to go.” Her expression changed from gentle and relaxed to sad and threatened. I looked at her and thought that she was embarrassed. She had bared her soul to me and I was questioning her motives. Most likely she had never told anyone what she just told me. Gloria got up to leave.
“Please don’t go. I didn’t mean to sound that way. I know you weren’t trying kaçak casino to seduce me. It is within my nature to be overly cautious. I reckon that’s the reason that all of my relationships have never matured past one or two night stands,” I pleaded. “I am sorry. Can we start over again?”
“I really don’t think so. I am sorry I even walked up to you today. I share with you one of my most intimate thoughts and you accuse me of…” She turned and walked away. I was left with my mouth open. Her sudden change in mood made me realize just how selfish I had been. I saw a young woman devastated from the rejection of a new acquaintance, whose own insecurities alienated another human being. I wondered if I would ever learn how to build a relationship.
The next couple of days were filled with thoughts of despair. My encounter with Gloria unnerved me so. I was no longer unhappy about the things I had considered wrong with my life. I was now miserable over losing a chance to gain a friend and confidant, someone I could share my innermost secrets. I was given the opportunity to share a life with someone who could have become closer to me than any other person ever had and I had botched it. I found myself dwelling on the finality of situation and felt myself slipping into a deeper depression than I had ever been before. The coffee shop became an obsession. Hopefully, Gloria would come back and we could begin again.
Two weeks had passed and I had allowed myself to dwell in the darkest recesses of my mind. I wandered the streets hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman I had met and spoke to less than an hour. I walked the city over those two weeks looking at every face to see if I could find her. In the small city I lived, it wouldn’t be surprising to find her on the sidewalk, walking as aimlessly as I. Eventually, I walked into the coffee shop, looked around not really expecting to see her, and then turned to leave.
“I see you still come to the bookstore,” a voice called from behind. Somehow I had missed her. She had been sitting out in the open and called when she saw me. I had looked so casually that I had overlooked her in the one place she came often.
I smiled. She looked as good as I remembered her. I ran to her and embraced her, my sudden eruption of emotion slightly startling her. For a moment she didn’t return the embrace, but after a few seconds her arms responded by wrapping around me gently. I pulled my head from her shoulder and stared deeply into her eyes. I don’t really understand or even know what my next thoughts were, but when I came back to reality I was kissing her passionately on the lips, all to the stares and grumps of those around us. We, however, were in our own little world and no one else mattered.
When we pulled away from the kiss, she looked confused. I said, “What?”
“Who’s seducing who?” she queried with a sly smile on her face. I took her by the arm and led her to the curb where I called for a taxi. Once inside, she looked at me deeply.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Where do you think! Do you believe I’m going to let you get away this time. I’m taking you to my apartment so that you will know where I live and then…”
“Then I am going to make those fantasies of yours come true…”
Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00353 515 73 20